EXCLUSIVE

Startling news from 10 Downing street this morning Tuesday April 1^st.. In a surprise announcement the government have said they plan to bring back corporal punishment to all senior schools in the UK by April 1^st next year.

This move is an answer to those critics, led by Dave ‘bonkers’ Cameron who say that corporal punishment as meted out to them at exclusive public schools never did them any harm and it’s about time that the offspring of our poor people felt the benefit of this higher educational teaching aid.

We await the appointment of the Minister for spanking with interest.